Sunday, July 3, 2011

Sorting Through

With everything that has happened with Mom and Dad, they are paring down. They are moving into a one bedroom apartment from a HUGE house. They are deciding what to take to their new place, what to give away and what to store. It is a tremendous undertaking and it's not like they had the luxury of time to deal with it. It has all had to happen so quickly.

So, today, in Valley City, in the midst of our own packing to move, Nikki and I went through old stuff from Mom and Dad's house, lots of old stuff. It is always difficult to go through things that you've held onto for most of your life. I'm still unsure if I'm doing the right thing getting rid of my Barbie dolls. But, I don't want them. I don't want the shirts from the Luther League Convention in San Antonio in 1988. I don't want baby girl clothes, even if some were made by my grandmothers. It is exhausting. Nikki has so many many. Hopefully, people at the Arc store will want some of these things. Some are very nice.

I feel guilty giving things away. There are gifts from aunts and uncles and grandparents and sister and parents and friends. I feel guilty saying goodbye to things that were my grandparents and I don't even know why I have them. It feels like giving away part of my past, part of my family's legacy. But, we just can't keep it all. I haven't looked in those boxes for 14+ years. Roger and I try to not surround ourselves with so much stuff. We have enough and adding to it is just not good for us. We aren't really moving to a bigger place and don't have oodles of room for stuff.

So, I will, just this one time, apologize if I have given away something that you once gave to me. I truly loved it when I received it, but it is time to move on. Thank you for all the gifts you've given over the years. I treasure them all. But, it is time to move past my childhood and focus on my adulthood. I've not only been sorting through all the stuff, but the memories and feelings as well. It is not easy, but I'll keep sorting...

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