Yesterday, Roger and I interviewed a potential doula. What is a doula? She is a intermediary between the mother and the medical staff. This doula, named Jill, massages and helps the mother find positions that help with pain and discomfort. She will also help explain what is going on. This frees Roger up to be my emotional support. And, if you know me at all, you know I need lots of emotional support. I don't need Roger leaving my side to discuss issues with the doctors and nurses while I wonder what is going on. We have decided to hire this doula, Jill. We all just seemed to click and I feel she will be a valuable addition to my birth team.
As for the birth plan, evidently everyone who has given birth has an opinion regarding whether or not to use medication. And that is great. I think each mother should do what is best for her. I have had issues with taking all kinds of medications for years. I was on an anti-depressant off and on for several years. I often tried different ones and had severe reactions, forcing me to return to Zoloft again and again. I have not been on Zoloft for 5 years, which is wonderful. However, I get very anxious and panic with anesthesia. Aleve gives me nightmares. Most pain medications make me paranoid and anxious. These are feelings I do NOT want while trying to have a baby. I fear that the reactions I have to traditional medications in the delivery room will force the doctors to perform a Cesarean. I'm hoping to avoid that. Also, when I was five years old, I had spinal meningitis and still recall having needles in my spine. The only way I can have blood drawn or get an injection is if I can see the needle poke my skin. I can't do that for an epidural. I will refuse an epidural unless there is no other way. It is not worth the anxiety and potentially dangerous rise in blood pressure.
So, while I am not the hippie natural person that feels ethically or morally that there should be no drugs, I am pragmatic. I want to experience this birth. I want to bond with my baby immediately, not when I wake up after being knocked out for paranoia and panic. It hurts to hear people laugh at my plan; like I can't do it. I will be open to medications if necessary. But, I will rely on Jill and Roger to help me through it.
There is only 3 months left...I'm starting to feel excited for the event and for meeting this little baby girl or boy. And, I'll do it the way I want!