Recently, I've been struck by how grown up I feel. I've been out of my parents house for years. I've had jobs for even more years. I've earned two college degrees and am doing what I wanted in life. Yet, it has taken becoming pregnant for me to really feel grown up. I realize that every decision I make from a few months ago until sometime in the future affect not only Roger and me, but also this new life. I've been complaining about missing cold cuts and beer, but I am willing to forgo those items to keep the baby safe. My life is about being a mom, and a wife, and have a job, and friends and family and many other aspects. It has been an awakening for me.
I've seen what I don't want to be. I don't want to be an adult who has to delete comments because they were mean and posted while drunk. I will always wear my seatbelt and keep the child in the legal and safe child restraints in the backseat of the car. Even a quick trip down the street could cause injury or death (sadly, it seems thata few Valley City residents don't seem to care about seatbelts or child safety laws).
I want to be a good parent. I don't have much experience at this, so it is all new. I am a step-mom, but had no part in raising Elise. She and I have a great relationship, and it has helped me feel a bit more prepared for parenting. I guess I will do as so many people have done before me and learn as I go. I am lucky to have a parenting partner that has gone through child rearing before. Roger is a great partner for many reasons, but I am lucky to be able to discuss with him the next step in parenting decisions with him.
I like feeling grown up. Now, if I could just get this apartment clean! Maybe this weekend...or next week...